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Oak Valley

Oak Valley

by Christopher Rawbone-Viljoen

Life in the commune


I’ve been laying low since the prawn-gate saga wondering what topics might fuel the ire of our four thousand strong readership. Luckily our strong man in Russia is copping most of the heat, plotting to overthrow nations while we were trying to defend the Springfield Makro.

I thought I’d touch on the prickly subject of cults, they get a rather bad rap.

Follow any wine retailer and they seem obsessed with promoting them. Everywhere you look there’s a new #cultfind.

Assuming we avoid the fatalists, wine cults could be rather fun. Long haired lovers getting high on wine, thriving on a diet of grape pulp and balsamic vinegar, sunbathing around the effluent dam, camping under cabernet while trading frisky cellar hands.

So, a few years ago we started our own, the Oak Valley Wine Club, exchanging free love for free delivery.

Once you become a Member, several fabulous cult benefits include;

  • your very own selection of wines
  • 20% saving and free delivery
  • access to our pre-release #oakvalleycultfinds
  • an invitation to our famously festive annual poolside luncheon in December on Oak Valley
  • complimentary tickets to the Elgin Cool Wine Festival in April/May

Your only commitment is to purchase a minimum value of R3,600 per year. And you can opt out any time.

Feel free to enquire about the best cult in the Cape led by our esteemed and efficient leader Carissa Moutsouyannis. The only Greek to actually pay taxes…so you can trust her.

Worst-case you lose twenty pounds while attempting our wine, pulp and balsamic diet.

Take care,

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